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In Memory of Brady Grivel

5/28/2016

8 Comments

 

Rest In Peace

Two weeks ago I received a call from the Thurston County Coroners office inquiring about a man that had been found deceased. He said that the only identifying information they could find was our address listed on his ID card and paperwork from our shelter in his belongings.  He told me this information in a very matter of fact way--the Coroner was trying to locate family and was following all possible avenues in doing so.  My heart sank and my eyes filled with tears.  At this point I swallowed the lump and asked if he could tell me who it was... 

A few weeks before this call, I showed up to work and there was a kayak near the bike rack. A KAYAK. I never quite know what to expect when I walk down into that parking lot, but I must say--A KAYAK?!?! So upon further investigation we come to find that Brady had purchased the kayak from Big 5 Sports and had dragged the kayak along the sidewalk all the way back to the shelter from Big 5 Sports because the bus driver wouldn't let him take it on the bus with him!

This was the man that Brady was. Determined, adventurous, and not one to back down from pursuing something he believed in. The weeks when he was boating each day we all noticed a shift in his spirit. He was more social, full of life and began pontificating even more so then usual about the beauty of the sea. This excerpt was a recent monologue he dictated to Ell/a one of our support staff as they transcribed it on the computer:
​

​Anonymous Persons (Nostradamus) Thesis 1.23
“To be on the shore of the west coast, longing for the open waters of the great ocean to catch sail of a gentle breeze going towards the islands of warmth. Shangrila (peace, harmony and contentment) of being very stable and wanting to just relax like a warm bathtub of water with one’s aching existence soaking in it, while sipping upon one’s favorite beverage. it sounds like poetry. want to make this poetry a reality. which is easy to grasp after residing within this comfortable harbor that’s kind of a jest (whats a jest? like a joke? correct.) Somber thought while walking from one such side of town to the other side of town. Take a moment and look out to the far end of the harbor, which does lead to open waters and just ponder on the sailing thought.”

It is not very often that people have the opportunity to die doing something they truly love. This is especially true for people experiencing houselessness. In fact, one of the questions on our Vulnerability Assessment that we use to gauge someone's high likelihood of dying on the street is, 
"Do you have planned activities, other than just surviving, that make you feel happy and fulfilled?".  
I am overwhelmed with gratitude that Brady had the opportunity to find something to do other than surviving each day, that made him feel such a deep sense of belonging and peace on the water.

The Memorial

We held a memorial service for Brady on Tuesday last week, at the "Octagon" as it's known on the streets, near the corner of East Bay Drive and Olympia Ave. Our amazing medical and hospice partners, the Amahoro House volunteers, provided food, warm drinks and a beautiful display of flowers, rocks and ropes to help us celebrate the life of a man described by his peers as full of dignity, a pure heart and a beautiful example of a true friend. 

The memorial brought out Shelter Support Staff, community members that knew him from the street, shelter volunteers and most importantly, shelter guests that have spent the past 9 months living with Brady.  All but one of his dorm mates attended as did many others from the street community. 

We had three dozen long stem roses that we picked as we shared a thought, memory or appreciation of Brady. We took the petals and gathered them in two vessels. Two volunteers, a shelter guest and Chris, Brady's fellow Meritime enthusiast and Support Staff member, ventured out on a dingy and a kayak to spread the petals and all of our love for Brady into the water just as he would have wanted it. The rest of us threw the petals on the shore to be taken out later by the tide.
​

Local Man of Mystery

We often referred to Brady as a Man of Mystery. We didn't know much about him and he would always say some coded catchphrases that were playful and might not always make linear sense. He never really mentioned family and all we ever knew for sure was that he loved the water. We learned  a little bit more about Brady the day of his memorial, though.  

A car happened to drive by as we were walking down to the shore and the driver asked me what we were doing. I told her, and I told her Brady's name. Her eyes filled with tears and she said, "My husband was his high school teacher at Capital". She said thank you to us for honoring his life and drove away.

​This moment points to a larger narrative in our city. In this Olympian article Brady Grivel, 50 year old local man who attended Capital High School is referred to as a "transient". When will we accept that the people experiencing homelessness in Olympia aren't "home"less at all? Their home is Olympia. They are without a structure of a physical house to live in, but they are from here. Their families are here. Their jobs are here. They went to high school here.

Advocates and social service providers have tried a hundred different ways to explain the misconception that people experiencing houselessness on our streets of our city are flocking here from other cities. Overwhelmingly, through year after year after year of census information, surveying, and individual reporting we have unchanging data to show that between 80-90% of our street community has called Thurston County and specifically in many cases, Olympia, home for a very long time.

The average life expectancy of someone experiencing longterm houselessness is around 47 years old. Brady is the 4th shelter guest that has died since we opened. Two guests, Chris Fabrizio and Lisa Rath died after they had moved on from the shelter, and two (Ariel Stone and Brady Grivel) have been active guests when they died. All had been living in Thurston County for over 10 years. 

May Brady, Ariel, Lisa, and Chris's lives solidify in our minds that the people you see on the streets are part of our community as much as anyone else. They deserve our care, respect and love. When we provide this for them, our community as a whole is healthier and better off.

May we have the insight as residents, city leaders, business owners, faith leaders, newspaper editors and community members to look at the many ways our community continues to push our neighbors even further to the margins by the way we describe them. 


Rest in Peace, Brady. You will be missed.

Photos by Angela Lee and Meg Martin
8 Comments
Nancy Ross
5/29/2016 10:27:35 am

What a beautiful article to honor this man named Brady, and thank you for bringing to attention the difference of houseless and homeless. This is a new concept for many of us who are not working on the streets as you all are. Thank you for the work you are doing!!

Reply
Lee Miller
5/30/2016 09:13:27 am

Beautiful, thank you, Meg. It was an honor to be there.

Reply
Marty Martin
5/30/2016 10:38:38 am

Meg, just saw this minutes ago. So, so sorry to hear this news. I was really moved by the beautiful reflection on Brady's life and the crucial message it sends to us all.

Reply
Angela Lee
5/30/2016 11:10:36 am

This is really beautiful Meg, thank you.

Reply
Michele Hovey
5/30/2016 12:04:08 pm

Dearest Meg, Thanks for the heart and soul work you do and for teaching all of us along the way. A beautiful tribute to Brady, a beautiful tribute to your work...your love and care.
xoxx, Michele Hovey

Reply
Francine Burg
8/30/2016 11:50:27 pm

I am in "awe" of the work that is being done with oh so much love! It behooves me to comment that what I have just read has given me a greater understanding of those without physical homes in the city of Xalapa, in the country of Mexico where I have lived almost 5 decades and where I presently live 6 months of the year. Naturally every culture in every country has its' distinct roots and traditions, but "lack of love" seems to be The Leading cause of CRISIS ALL over the world.

I live here in the USA in OLY. 6 months of the year in a rented mother-in-law suite and the other 6 months in a medium size city, kind of like Olympia, an hour and a half inland, high up in the middle of the mountains, directly East of the Port of Veracruz, in the country of Mexico.

After reading the many pages that I've just had the honor of feasting my eyes on, word for word about the population of your esteemed guests, some no longer with us, like the lovely young girl 23 years old who passed on at St. Peds recently and my viewing the video of her with her friends, which utterly melted my heart!

So I have been "unknowingly" initiated by reading about the magnificent work that many of you do, your philosophy, the legislation trying to be passed so what Einstein said in that ever famous quote included in your Blog can soon be altered, the pieces about your volunteer workers, as well as the "new" for me definitions of those without physical homes here in Olympia as in any other place on the planet! I feel as though I have just had an amazing "taste" & flash-like education in the last 3 hours by reading through a portion of what is available and then later, ONLY your most recent blog & its' news, July 2016.

Last but not least, just as a comment, I've just learned about a sort-of "icing on the cake" by figuratively meeting Brady, who loved the sea, even though it was experienced towards the end of his life by gliding on Peugeot Sound in a kayak, (believed as such, however, not really known).

I felt as though I just took a ride with him as I too love to kayak and also bought one when I lived in Rainier 10 yrs. ago, although unlike Brady, I never got to use mine, even though I loaded it from COSTCO onto the top of my 1997 Toyota, believing I was going to paddle away on some beautiful WA. lakes some day soon. Brady far surpassed my endeavor by succeeding, even though I lived in utmost comfort in a beautiful concrete home at the time. I truly wish I would have had the honor of meeting him and after reading what Meg wrote, I was almost out of breath!

Meg's love & care as is illustrated in what I have just poured over, as well as the "entire team" working to bring forth a new reality for Thurston County's "street guests" who seem to me to be victims of an uncaring general society characterized by "lack of love" together with unsatisfactory legislation in & of our political system. ALL of the others on "The Team" are evidently doing their heartfelt work to give love & protection to this segment of our population.

I thank you ALL with ALL my heart & soul. I LOVE YOU.

Gratitude is mine,
Francine Burg, presently in Oly. for another 2 months and then back in May, 2017.

Reply
Francine Burg
8/30/2016 11:50:42 pm

I am in "awe" of the work that is being done with oh so much love! It behooves me to comment that what I have just read has given me a greater understanding of those without physical homes in the city of Xalapa, in the country of Mexico where I have lived almost 5 decades and where I presently live 6 months of the year. Naturally every culture in every country has its' distinct roots and traditions, but "lack of love" seems to be The Leading cause of CRISIS ALL over the world.

I live here in the USA in OLY. 6 months of the year in a rented mother-in-law suite and the other 6 months in a medium size city, kind of like Olympia, an hour and a half inland, high up in the middle of the mountains, directly East of the Port of Veracruz, in the country of Mexico.

After reading the many pages that I've just had the honor of feasting my eyes on, word for word about the population of your esteemed guests, some no longer with us, like the lovely young girl 23 years old who passed on at St. Peds recently and my viewing the video of her with her friends, which utterly melted my heart!

So I have been "unknowingly" initiated by reading about the magnificent work that many of you do, your philosophy, the legislation trying to be passed so what Einstein said in that ever famous quote included in your Blog can soon be altered, the pieces about your volunteer workers, as well as the "new" for me definitions of those without physical homes here in Olympia as in any other place on the planet! I feel as though I have just had an amazing "taste" & flash-like education in the last 3 hours by reading through a portion of what is available and then later, ONLY your most recent blog & its' news, July 2016.

Last but not least, just as a comment, I've just learned about a sort-of "icing on the cake" by figuratively meeting Brady, who loved the sea, even though it was experienced towards the end of his life by gliding on Peugeot Sound in a kayak, (believed as such, however, not really known).

I felt as though I just took a ride with him as I too love to kayak and also bought one when I lived in Rainier 10 yrs. ago, although unlike Brady, I never got to use mine, even though I loaded it from COSTCO onto the top of my 1997 Toyota, believing I was going to paddle away on some beautiful WA. lakes some day soon. Brady far surpassed my endeavor by succeeding, even though I lived in utmost comfort in a beautiful concrete home at the time. I truly wish I would have had the honor of meeting him and after reading what Meg wrote, I was almost out of breath!

Meg's love & care as is illustrated in what I have just poured over, as well as the "entire team" working to bring forth a new reality for Thurston County's "street guests" who seem to me to be victims of an uncaring general society characterized by "lack of love" together with unsatisfactory legislation in & of our political system. ALL of the others on "The Team" are evidently doing their heartfelt work to give love & protection to this segment of our population.

I thank you ALL with ALL my heart & soul. I LOVE YOU.

Gratitude is mine,
Francine Burg, presently in Oly. for another 2 months and then back in May, 2017.

Reply
Francine Burg
8/30/2016 11:51:14 pm

I am in "awe" of the work that is being done with oh so much love! It behooves me to comment that what I have just read has given me a greater understanding of those without physical homes in the city of Xalapa, in the country of Mexico where I have lived almost 5 decades and where I presently live 6 months of the year. Naturally every culture in every country has its' distinct roots and traditions, but "lack of love" seems to be The Leading cause of CRISIS ALL over the world.

I live here in the USA in OLY. 6 months of the year in a rented mother-in-law suite and the other 6 months in a medium size city, kind of like Olympia, an hour and a half inland, high up in the middle of the mountains, directly East of the Port of Veracruz, in the country of Mexico.

After reading the many pages that I've just had the honor of feasting my eyes on, word for word about the population of your esteemed guests, some no longer with us, like the lovely young girl 23 years old who passed on at St. Peds recently and my viewing the video of her with her friends, which utterly melted my heart!

So I have been "unknowingly" initiated by reading about the magnificent work that many of you do, your philosophy, the legislation trying to be passed so what Einstein said in that ever famous quote included in your Blog can soon be altered, the pieces about your volunteer workers, as well as the "new" for me definitions of those without physical homes here in Olympia as in any other place on the planet! I feel as though I have just had an amazing "taste" & flash-like education in the last 3 hours by reading through a portion of what is available and then later, ONLY your most recent blog & its' news, July 2016.

Last but not least, just as a comment, I've just learned about a sort-of "icing on the cake" by figuratively meeting Brady, who loved the sea, even though it was experienced towards the end of his life by gliding on Peugeot Sound in a kayak, (believed as such, however, not really known).

I felt as though I just took a ride with him as I too love to kayak and also bought one when I lived in Rainier 10 yrs. ago, although unlike Brady, I never got to use mine, even though I loaded it from COSTCO onto the top of my 1997 Toyota, believing I was going to paddle away on some beautiful WA. lakes some day soon. Brady far surpassed my endeavor by succeeding, even though I lived in utmost comfort in a beautiful concrete home at the time. I truly wish I would have had the honor of meeting him and after reading what Meg wrote, I was almost out of breath!

Meg's love & care as is illustrated in what I have just poured over, as well as the "entire team" working to bring forth a new reality for Thurston County's "street guests" who seem to me to be victims of an uncaring general society characterized by "lack of love" together with unsatisfactory legislation in & of our political system. ALL of the others on "The Team" are evidently doing their heartfelt work to give love & protection to this segment of our population.

I thank you ALL with ALL my heart & soul. I LOVE YOU.

Gratitude is mine,
Francine Burg, presently in Oly. for another 2 months and then back in May, 2017.

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    Meg Martin

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    Meg Martin, LICSW, CPC, is the Executive Director for The Interfaith Works.


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